It’s that time

Germaine Bleile

Most of us think we want it sooner rather than later. Some of us dread it. But there comes a time when each person thinks about it.

It’s that time. I’ve taught for 25 years, and I’m ready to step onto a new stage in my life—retirement.

I look around at my Grade 1/2 class of seven- and eight-year-olds, some of whom I’ve taught for almost two years, some of whom I’ve known since they were babies, when I taught their siblings. There’s Duane, who brought me one of his precious shells because it was pretty and he wanted me to have it. And Sarah, who bounces about all the time, talking constantly, but who charms me with her sunny approach to life. Of course they’ll be fine without me. They’ll go on to other teachers who will enjoy them as much as I do.

But what about me?

What will it be like not to watch a class grow in wisdom, knowledge and character? What will it be like not getting notes and pictures from the kids? (My family calls them the "daily offerings.") What will it be like to live my days without bells ringing? (I always need a cup of tea at 10:15 a.m.) What about my creativity? (I’ve always enjoyed planning lessons and surprising the kids with fun ways to learn.) What about all the other things that I love about teaching, like work relationships? (I’ll miss the shop talk with my colleagues and working together on the busyness of school.) What about my identity? (Being a teacher defined me as a responsible person with an important job to do.)

There are many last times. My last Christmas concert. My last individual progress plan. (All right, so I’m not going to miss those!) My last parent–teacher conference. (I’ve always enjoyed them. In fact, I just found a letter written to me a number of years ago by a Grade 5 student. She wrote that she thought I was going to say "all bad things" about her at the conference, but I said "lots of good things." She said that her mother was so surprised that she cried.) Will I never again use the ability to search for the "good things" in ways that might encourage a child or change a child’s direction?

It had to end.

Life goes on, and I’m standing on the threshold of a new adventure. I won’t be teaching, but I’ll use much of what I have learned as a teacher. I’ll interact with people and look for ways to encourage them. I’ll enter into a stage of life where much will be new to me, and I’ll learn as I’ve encouraged my children to learn—wholeheartedly and to the best of my ability. I’ll grow to be a new person, but my identity will always be rooted in what I was for 25 years—a teacher.

Before retiring in June 2006, Germaine Bleile was an elementary generalist teacher with the Calgary Public School Board.