Editorial

Please press one

David Flower

I'm intrigued by the concept of "customer service" and "customer satisfaction" when it comes to businesses. And with the application of business terminology to the public-education system, the term customer has taken on a whole new meaning.

I've examined customer service from the schools' point of view, since the business model is specifically one that schools are being asked to copy, and I propose that the following customer service be applied to schools.

My daily newspaper has an automated answering service to deal with delivery and service questions. If my newspaper is not delivered, I go through a series of "press one for . . ." (if, of course, I have a touch-tone phone). Eventually a disembodied voice credits my account for a paper not delivered or arranges for delivery. The purpose of this process, I am sure, is to save the expense of employing someone to take calls and deal with my concern personally.

What with the continuing budget crunch in education, I suggest that schools adopt a similar service for their customers. An inexpensive automated answering machine can take calls: "Hello! Welcome to Erehwon Elementary School. If you require service in English, please press one. If you require service in French, please press two. If you require . . ." (The machine could go through as many languages as are necessary for the particular school.) "If you are checking to see if your child is in school today, please input your seven-digit telephone number. Thank you. Now enter the first four letters of your child's first name." The disembodied voice continues: "Your child, (child's name), is registered in this school (which is good to know) and is recorded as being in school today (you breathe a sigh of relief)."

The potential for questions is limitless: "If you want to know your child's homework assignment, please press one. If you had a problem understanding your child's homework assignment, please press two. If you want to find out your child's current grade in math, please press three. . . . If you wish to speak to a teacher, please input the teacher's last name and press the number sign. Your call will be transferred to an automatic voice answering service where you can leave a message. If you wish to speak to the principal, please press 33. At the sound of the tone, please leave a message and the principal will return your call when she is available."

Imagine the outcry from parents having to wait for all those messages and still not ending up with a living, breathing person on the end of the line. You can bet that most calls would not fit into the categories provided. Yet, it would save the expense of employing a secretary and it would save a bunch of teachers' time (while creating many unhappy parents). Customer service—who's serving whom?